I have some lyrics written.

This is to the tune of Taylor Swift's "Anti-Hero." Enjoy!:

It's me, hi, I am the very model of a modern major-general,

At tea time, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I'll stare directly at the elegiacs at the crimes of Heliogabalus

It must be exhausting always flooring peculiarities parabolous.

(And then Jack Antonoff does his synth thing)